The Art of Now
Six Steps to Living in the Moment
“Our future depends on our ability to pay attention to the present.”
(Some of this article was excerpted from an article in Psychology Today Magazine, Nov/Dec 2008)
You Are Not Your Thoughts: Life unfolds in the present; but too often, we let the present slip away,
loosing the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about the past. We need
to step out of this rushing, pause -- stop doing and focus on just being. We need to live more in the
moment.
Living in the moment—also called mindfulness—is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present.
When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your
thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they
are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away.
Having a nonjudgmental awareness of the present produces a lot of benefits. Mindfulness reduces stress,
boosts immune functioning, reduces chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and helps patients cope with cancer.
Mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem
and are more accepting of their own weaknesses, less impulsivity and reactivity. Mindful people fight less and
are more accommodating and less defensive and have more satisfying relationships.
You just have to trust that the rewards will come with practice. There are many paths to mindfulness all of
which involve practice. Following are a few tricks to help you along.
1: Unselfconsciousness: To improve your performance, stop thinking about it.
"Be right here right now!" "Just let go and let yourself be in the moment." Thinking too hard about what
you're doing actually makes you do worse. If you're in a situation that makes you anxious—giving a speech,
introducing yourself to a stranger, dancing—focusing on your anxiety tends to heighten it. "When I say, 'be
here with me now,' I mean don't zone out or get too in-your-head. For example, when you are dancing, focus
less on what's going on in your mind and more on what's going on in the room, less on your mental chatter and
more on yourself as part of something. Focus on things outside yourself, like the music or the people around
you.
When people are mindful, they're more likely to see themselves as part of humanity and the greater universe.
That's why Buddhist monks talk about being "one with everything." By reducing self-consciousness,
mindfulness allows you to witness the passing drama of feelings, social pressures, even of being esteemed or
disparaged by others without taking their evaluations personally. Focusing on the present moment also forces
you to stop overthinking.
2: Savoring: To avoid worrying about the future, focus on the present.
Often, we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience or enjoy what's
happening right now. We sip coffee and think, "This is not as good as what I had last week." We eat a cookie
and think, "I hope I don't run out of cookies.” Instead, relish or luxuriate in whatever you're doing at the present
moment—what psychologists call savoring.
Why does living in the moment make people happier? Because most negative thoughts concern the past or
the future. As Mark Twain said, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
Catastrophizing—worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and might not happen at all – heightens
depression and anxiety. Worry, by its very nature, means thinking about the future—and if you lift yourself into
awareness of the present moment, worrying melts away. Savoring forces you into the present, so you can't
worry about things that aren't there.
3: Breathe: For the future, inhabit the present.
Mindfulness boosts your awareness of how you react to and increases the gap between emotional impulse
and action. It helps you respond thoughtfully rather than automatically. Instead of lashing out in anger, backing
down in fear, or mindlessly indulging a passing craving, you get the opportunity to say to yourself, "This is the
emotion I'm feeling. How should I respond?"
Mindfulness increases self-control and you're ability to regulate your behavior. Inhabiting your own mind
more fully has a powerful effect on your interactions with others.
During a flare-up with someone, you may not be able to duck out. But there's a simple exercise you can do
anywhere, anytime to induce mindfulness: Breathe. There's no better way to bring yourself into the present
moment than to focus on your breathing, which lifts you powerfully into the present moment. For many, focusing
on the breath is the preferred method of orienting themselves to the now—not because the breath has some
magical property, but because it's always there with you. Mindfulness training usually starts with breathing
exercises.
4: Flow: To make the most of time, lose it.
The most complete way of living in the moment is the state of total absorption called “flow.” Flow occurs when
you're so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything. Is this a paradox? How can you be living in the
moment if you're not even aware of the moment? You focus so intensely on what you're doing that you're
unaware of the passage of time. Hours can pass without you noticing.
The first requirement for flow is to set a goal that's challenging but not unattainable—something you have to
marshal your resources and stretch yourself to achieve. The task should be matched to your ability level—not
so difficult that you'll feel stressed, but not so easy that you'll get bored.
To set the stage for flow, goals need to be clearly defined so that you always know your next step. Set up the
task in such a way that you receive direct and immediate feedback; with your successes and failures apparent,
you can seamlessly adjust your behavior. As your attention or focus narrows, self-consciousness evaporates.
You feel a sense of personal mastery over the situation, and the activity is so intrinsically rewarding that,
although the task is difficult, action feels effortless.
5: Acceptance: If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than away.
Focusing on a problem or pain -- in order to combat and overcome it—often makes it worse. It is natural to
resist unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When we lose a love, for instance, we fight our feelings of
heartbreak. When we're sitting in the dentist's chair waiting for a root canal, we wish we were anywhere but
there. But in many cases, negative feelings and situations can't be avoided—and resisting them only magnifies
the pain.
We get stressed out and then think, "I wish I weren't so stressed out." The primary emotion is stress over your
workload. The secondary emotion is feeling, "I hate being stressed."
It doesn't have to be this way. The solution is acceptance—letting the emotion be there. That is, being open
to the way things are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience—without judging it,
clinging to it, or pushing it away. Trying to change the present moment only frustrates and exhausts you.
Acceptance relieves you of this needless extra suffering. Feelings of loss are normal and natural.
Acceptance of an unpleasant state doesn't mean you don't have goals for the future. It just means you accept
that certain things are beyond your control. The sadness, stress, pain, or anger is there whether you like it or
not. Try to embrace the feeling as it is. Thoughts are just thoughts. You don't have to believe them and you
don't have to do what they say.
6: Engagement: Know that you don't know.
We all have moments of mindlessness—times when you're so lost in your thoughts that you aren't aware of
your present experience. The best way to avoid such blackouts is to develop the habit of always noticing new
things in whatever situation you're in. That process creates engagement with the present moment and releases
a host of other benefits. Noticing new things puts you in the here and now.
When we're there at the moment, making it new, it leaves an imprint in the music we play, the things we write,
the art we create, in everything we do. Once we recognize that we don't know the things we've always taken for
granted, we set out of the house quite differently. It becomes an adventure in noticing—and the more we
notice, the more we see. And the more excitement we feel.
Sit There, Don't Just Do Something,
Living a mindful life is hard. But mindfulness itself is easy. Mindfulness is not about trying to improve yourself
or get anywhere. It is simply a matter of realizing where you already are. You can become mindful at any
moment just by paying attention to your immediate experience. You can do it right now by asking, “What's
happening this instant?”
Think of yourself as an eternal witness, and just observe the moment. What do you see, hear, smell? It
doesn't matter how it feels—pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad—you roll with it because it's what's present;
you're not judging it. And if you notice your mind wandering, bring yourself back. Just say to yourself, "Now.
Now. Now."
Mindfulness
As you read the words printed in this leaflet, as your eyes distinguish the black squiggles on paper, as you
feel gravity anchoring you to the planet, wake up. Become aware of being alive. And breathe. As you draw your
next breath, focus on the rise of your abdomen on the in-breath, the stream of heat through your nostrils on the
out-breath. If you're aware of that feeling right now, as you're reading this, you're living in the moment. Nothing
happens next. It's not a destination. This is it. You're there.
The brain and stress:
When a person is impacted by trauma, stress or loss, a cascade of biochemical responses is set loose by our
built-in, biological driven, survival reaction during the time of the traumatic event(s). Often we are left with
hobbled speech and short-circuited memory, at least when it comes to talking about the specific trauma or
loss. However, most of the time we heal and transition through these difficult times in several days or weeks or
months. But sometimes some of us do not heal. We may suffer scars or numbness for years, sometimes a
lifetime after the event(s).
We have learned that the right side of the brain becomes short-circuited; and the left side, the thinking side,
tries to compensate by “problem solving” and analyzing over and over until we work things out. But sometimes
we become permanently locked in this over-analyzing state, which can produce a stress reaction. This can
result in a frozen or “numb” state, which can impede our psychological and social functioning in many ways.
Psychotherapy can be helpful and necessary for many. But just as helpful and important in healing is the
time and practice we spend in mindfulness training and calm and relaxing activities. These activities are
necessary to help the right side of the brain heal from the trauma or loss.
Take an inventory:
What are all the things you already do for calm and relaxation – stress treatment for the brain?
All too often, we do not take the time to heal like this during and after stress and trauma. When do
we have the time?
Guided imagery works for many people. You don’t need any skills or training. All you have to do is
listen to a CD. Just take the time – with a CD player or boombox. Earplugs or headset are helpful.
You need a quiet place where you will not be distracted. If you can’t do 15-20 minutes twice a day, any
time you take is helpful, even if only five minutes. Take whatever time you have, the more the better.
Do you want to try guided imagery? We have the scripts for a series of imageries. You can
record them yourself if you have the equipment and you prefer your own voice. Or you can purchase
them from a reputable source. Or if you prefer, Mr. Lohkamp has them available for a nominal cost.
(Below is a listing of the guided imagery recordings Mr. Lohkamp has available.)
(Reference: see the book “Invisible Heroes” by Belleruth Naparstek; 2004, ISBN# 0-553-80350-6.)
Six Steps to Living in the Moment
“Our future depends on our ability to pay attention to the present.”
(Some of this article was excerpted from an article in Psychology Today Magazine, Nov/Dec 2008)
You Are Not Your Thoughts: Life unfolds in the present; but too often, we let the present slip away,
loosing the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about the past. We need
to step out of this rushing, pause -- stop doing and focus on just being. We need to live more in the
moment.
Living in the moment—also called mindfulness—is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present.
When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your
thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they
are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away.
Having a nonjudgmental awareness of the present produces a lot of benefits. Mindfulness reduces stress,
boosts immune functioning, reduces chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and helps patients cope with cancer.
Mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem
and are more accepting of their own weaknesses, less impulsivity and reactivity. Mindful people fight less and
are more accommodating and less defensive and have more satisfying relationships.
You just have to trust that the rewards will come with practice. There are many paths to mindfulness all of
which involve practice. Following are a few tricks to help you along.
1: Unselfconsciousness: To improve your performance, stop thinking about it.
"Be right here right now!" "Just let go and let yourself be in the moment." Thinking too hard about what
you're doing actually makes you do worse. If you're in a situation that makes you anxious—giving a speech,
introducing yourself to a stranger, dancing—focusing on your anxiety tends to heighten it. "When I say, 'be
here with me now,' I mean don't zone out or get too in-your-head. For example, when you are dancing, focus
less on what's going on in your mind and more on what's going on in the room, less on your mental chatter and
more on yourself as part of something. Focus on things outside yourself, like the music or the people around
you.
When people are mindful, they're more likely to see themselves as part of humanity and the greater universe.
That's why Buddhist monks talk about being "one with everything." By reducing self-consciousness,
mindfulness allows you to witness the passing drama of feelings, social pressures, even of being esteemed or
disparaged by others without taking their evaluations personally. Focusing on the present moment also forces
you to stop overthinking.
2: Savoring: To avoid worrying about the future, focus on the present.
Often, we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience or enjoy what's
happening right now. We sip coffee and think, "This is not as good as what I had last week." We eat a cookie
and think, "I hope I don't run out of cookies.” Instead, relish or luxuriate in whatever you're doing at the present
moment—what psychologists call savoring.
Why does living in the moment make people happier? Because most negative thoughts concern the past or
the future. As Mark Twain said, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
Catastrophizing—worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and might not happen at all – heightens
depression and anxiety. Worry, by its very nature, means thinking about the future—and if you lift yourself into
awareness of the present moment, worrying melts away. Savoring forces you into the present, so you can't
worry about things that aren't there.
3: Breathe: For the future, inhabit the present.
Mindfulness boosts your awareness of how you react to and increases the gap between emotional impulse
and action. It helps you respond thoughtfully rather than automatically. Instead of lashing out in anger, backing
down in fear, or mindlessly indulging a passing craving, you get the opportunity to say to yourself, "This is the
emotion I'm feeling. How should I respond?"
Mindfulness increases self-control and you're ability to regulate your behavior. Inhabiting your own mind
more fully has a powerful effect on your interactions with others.
During a flare-up with someone, you may not be able to duck out. But there's a simple exercise you can do
anywhere, anytime to induce mindfulness: Breathe. There's no better way to bring yourself into the present
moment than to focus on your breathing, which lifts you powerfully into the present moment. For many, focusing
on the breath is the preferred method of orienting themselves to the now—not because the breath has some
magical property, but because it's always there with you. Mindfulness training usually starts with breathing
exercises.
4: Flow: To make the most of time, lose it.
The most complete way of living in the moment is the state of total absorption called “flow.” Flow occurs when
you're so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything. Is this a paradox? How can you be living in the
moment if you're not even aware of the moment? You focus so intensely on what you're doing that you're
unaware of the passage of time. Hours can pass without you noticing.
The first requirement for flow is to set a goal that's challenging but not unattainable—something you have to
marshal your resources and stretch yourself to achieve. The task should be matched to your ability level—not
so difficult that you'll feel stressed, but not so easy that you'll get bored.
To set the stage for flow, goals need to be clearly defined so that you always know your next step. Set up the
task in such a way that you receive direct and immediate feedback; with your successes and failures apparent,
you can seamlessly adjust your behavior. As your attention or focus narrows, self-consciousness evaporates.
You feel a sense of personal mastery over the situation, and the activity is so intrinsically rewarding that,
although the task is difficult, action feels effortless.
5: Acceptance: If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than away.
Focusing on a problem or pain -- in order to combat and overcome it—often makes it worse. It is natural to
resist unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When we lose a love, for instance, we fight our feelings of
heartbreak. When we're sitting in the dentist's chair waiting for a root canal, we wish we were anywhere but
there. But in many cases, negative feelings and situations can't be avoided—and resisting them only magnifies
the pain.
We get stressed out and then think, "I wish I weren't so stressed out." The primary emotion is stress over your
workload. The secondary emotion is feeling, "I hate being stressed."
It doesn't have to be this way. The solution is acceptance—letting the emotion be there. That is, being open
to the way things are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience—without judging it,
clinging to it, or pushing it away. Trying to change the present moment only frustrates and exhausts you.
Acceptance relieves you of this needless extra suffering. Feelings of loss are normal and natural.
Acceptance of an unpleasant state doesn't mean you don't have goals for the future. It just means you accept
that certain things are beyond your control. The sadness, stress, pain, or anger is there whether you like it or
not. Try to embrace the feeling as it is. Thoughts are just thoughts. You don't have to believe them and you
don't have to do what they say.
6: Engagement: Know that you don't know.
We all have moments of mindlessness—times when you're so lost in your thoughts that you aren't aware of
your present experience. The best way to avoid such blackouts is to develop the habit of always noticing new
things in whatever situation you're in. That process creates engagement with the present moment and releases
a host of other benefits. Noticing new things puts you in the here and now.
When we're there at the moment, making it new, it leaves an imprint in the music we play, the things we write,
the art we create, in everything we do. Once we recognize that we don't know the things we've always taken for
granted, we set out of the house quite differently. It becomes an adventure in noticing—and the more we
notice, the more we see. And the more excitement we feel.
Sit There, Don't Just Do Something,
Living a mindful life is hard. But mindfulness itself is easy. Mindfulness is not about trying to improve yourself
or get anywhere. It is simply a matter of realizing where you already are. You can become mindful at any
moment just by paying attention to your immediate experience. You can do it right now by asking, “What's
happening this instant?”
Think of yourself as an eternal witness, and just observe the moment. What do you see, hear, smell? It
doesn't matter how it feels—pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad—you roll with it because it's what's present;
you're not judging it. And if you notice your mind wandering, bring yourself back. Just say to yourself, "Now.
Now. Now."
Mindfulness
As you read the words printed in this leaflet, as your eyes distinguish the black squiggles on paper, as you
feel gravity anchoring you to the planet, wake up. Become aware of being alive. And breathe. As you draw your
next breath, focus on the rise of your abdomen on the in-breath, the stream of heat through your nostrils on the
out-breath. If you're aware of that feeling right now, as you're reading this, you're living in the moment. Nothing
happens next. It's not a destination. This is it. You're there.
The brain and stress:
When a person is impacted by trauma, stress or loss, a cascade of biochemical responses is set loose by our
built-in, biological driven, survival reaction during the time of the traumatic event(s). Often we are left with
hobbled speech and short-circuited memory, at least when it comes to talking about the specific trauma or
loss. However, most of the time we heal and transition through these difficult times in several days or weeks or
months. But sometimes some of us do not heal. We may suffer scars or numbness for years, sometimes a
lifetime after the event(s).
We have learned that the right side of the brain becomes short-circuited; and the left side, the thinking side,
tries to compensate by “problem solving” and analyzing over and over until we work things out. But sometimes
we become permanently locked in this over-analyzing state, which can produce a stress reaction. This can
result in a frozen or “numb” state, which can impede our psychological and social functioning in many ways.
Psychotherapy can be helpful and necessary for many. But just as helpful and important in healing is the
time and practice we spend in mindfulness training and calm and relaxing activities. These activities are
necessary to help the right side of the brain heal from the trauma or loss.
Take an inventory:
What are all the things you already do for calm and relaxation – stress treatment for the brain?
- [ ] Warm Bath [ ] Meditation
[ ] Prayer [ ] Musical instrument
[ ] Yoga [ ] Tai Chi
[ ] Gardening [ ] Listening to Music
[ ] Other calm relaxing activities:______________________________
_______________________________________________________
All too often, we do not take the time to heal like this during and after stress and trauma. When do
we have the time?
Guided imagery works for many people. You don’t need any skills or training. All you have to do is
listen to a CD. Just take the time – with a CD player or boombox. Earplugs or headset are helpful.
You need a quiet place where you will not be distracted. If you can’t do 15-20 minutes twice a day, any
time you take is helpful, even if only five minutes. Take whatever time you have, the more the better.
Do you want to try guided imagery? We have the scripts for a series of imageries. You can
record them yourself if you have the equipment and you prefer your own voice. Or you can purchase
them from a reputable source. Or if you prefer, Mr. Lohkamp has them available for a nominal cost.
(Below is a listing of the guided imagery recordings Mr. Lohkamp has available.)
- GUIDED IMAGERY LIST
[Below is a list of CDs and scripts available.]
CD#1 CD#2
Breathing Awareness Restful Sleep
Peaceful Place Awareness of Feelings
Body Awareness Facing Down Anxiety
Protection and Support Softening Pain
Other possible CDs/scripts:
Easing Depression Releasing Grief
Healing Trauma Confidence
Anger and Forgiveness Looking Deeper
Weight Loss Addictions
(Reference: see the book “Invisible Heroes” by Belleruth Naparstek; 2004, ISBN# 0-553-80350-6.)
- The CDs are recorded by Paul Lohkamp, LCSW
and Maureen Daniels, RN, MN, Director
Deaconess Parish Nurse Ministries
MINDFULNESS, MEDITATION AND
RELAXATION TRAINING.
"THE ART OF NOW"
RELAXATION TRAINING.
"THE ART OF NOW"
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Paul with that cat.
Click below on the
audio button for a
sample recording. The
breathing awareness
exercise is the basic
relaxation/imagery
method everyone can
know and use.
audio button for a
sample recording. The
breathing awareness
exercise is the basic
relaxation/imagery
method everyone can
know and use.